What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 21.06.2025 01:49
I waited trembling.
She found it foreign!.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Skyrim meets Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag in gorgeous new RPG - GAMINGbible
I was 9 years of age.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Why do I feel so lazy every time I get into my room?
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Do leftists understand why young men are becoming more right-wing?
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
What caused the Democratic Party's 2024 presidential campaign to implode so horrifically?
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
How Amazon’s Nuclear Deal Could Solve a Touchy Political Problem - Barron's
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Astros Place Jacob Melton On 10-Day Injured List - MLB Trade Rumors
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I was very sick at this time too.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Broadcom’s AI Bonanza Has Limits - WSJ
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
How are interior designers using AI tools to personalize home design experiences?
Why did i forgive my father ?
I think the readers, may guess!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Harvey Weinstein Was Abused, Defense Says in Retrial Closing Argument - Variety
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
He resisted the act ,that day.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
When did women stop wearing bonnets in North America?
It was going to be , some day.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
What is the best way to get clients to a call center?
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
She was in good health!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
So whats the point in blame.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
This is soul school!.
Put me off passion for life!!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I was scared of men, in general
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I don,t even have a pension.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
She married twice! .
This is how, and why children get BPD.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Would this be the day?
When she asked me how she looked .
What did i know ?
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
We were not on the streets..
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I could never make a relationship work though!
But it wasn’t much.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I will be 64.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
My family never makes their pension either.
I couldn’t, believe it.
We all went to grammer schools
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I have no regrets .
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Comes on , in middle age.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Who then, do I blame.?
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
But, we were locked up after school.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
My life is so biszare .
And i lived it daily.
So, i spoilt her more .
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
He knew the spot.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
But ive been too sick for many years..
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
As i do to all so called friends.?
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I never cut or harmed myself..
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
One cannot live in the past .
She loved him until the end.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Im still living with it.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I was seconnd youngest,
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Was to survive, this bastard.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
All the time i was locked up.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
She wouldn,t have been !
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
(And it was in our own minds.)
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Ive learnt so much.
I write beautiful poetry .
I said to her
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Especially a lifetime of it.